New Year, New Me

Day 1 of 365: A clean slate. 

It's cheesy, I know. Today marks the first day of the new year, you have 365 pages to write a story. What will you put in it? It's hard to believe that another year has come and gone. 2018 was full of ups and downs, and personally, I am just thankful to get it over with! It was a lot of fun and I had a lot of "first" experiences, like graduating from high school, getting my first job, voting, starting college, failing my first college class, and so much more it's hard to remember, but I am glad it's over, because a New Year is your chance at a new start.  Although you don't have to wait for a 'new year' to make these changes, it's lovely to think of the new year as clean slate, ready for you to make of it what you wish.

Along with the new year come the mostly unfulfilled and broken by February promises known as "New Year resolutions." My family have always made New Years resolutions together since I was little. I believe that new year is a great time to think of as a fresh start, and it gives you the opportunity to make of it what you want. These are just a few of my New Year resolutions for this year:

   

Get Healthier: 

Getting healthier is a New Year's resolution for so many people, I know that. I can't tell you how many times getting healthy or losing weight was mine in the past. For me, however, this year is more on focusing on mental health as well as physical. I began my weight loss journey (really it is more of a rollercoaster with ups and downs, sharp drops and steep inclines), at the beginning of 2018 (see my full weight loss journey here). Throughout the year I focused solely on my body. I cut out carbs and fats, followed diet plans to the T, drank almost a gallon of water a day, and made sure to reach my 10,000 steps a day goal. Of course, I had cheat days in between, but what I really learned through this is how much better eating healthy and exercising actually made me feel all over. I could tell a huge difference when I slowed meal prepping down and let life get in the way. Graduating, starting a new school, working towards an associate degree as well as a career study certificate, and starting a job slowed this process down, so my real "resolution" is is get back to the way things were last year in an effort to help my mental health as well as my physical.  My main goal for getting healthy though, is that this is a way to help myself. So many times we let other people have our full and complete attention, saving none for the person who really matters, ourselves.  A big part of getting healthy relies on you. It is up to you to put in the work, time, energy, and effort to make a change. The hardest part to me about getting healthy is the time. I enjoyed the feeling of eating right, but lets be honest, it's a lot faster and cheaper to go through the drive thru. This year I am focusing on making the time for me, and I challenge you to do the same. The quote, "a healthy outside starts from the inside," is my motto for the new year. 

Stop Worrying What Others Think: 

For me, this resolution is a big one. I spend so much time worrying what other people think of me. Would they like how I am dressed? How my hair is? If someone were to look at me right now, what would they think? It would even get so bad I refused to eat in my car. When I would get something to eat while driving, I would do a full 360 degree twist before taking a bite. If someone would go by, I put whatever I was eating down. It sounds silly now that I look back on it, but when it's happening all I can think is that the person who sees me will probably say, "she could wait to eat until she's not driving." Worrying what other people think about us is engrained into our every being. We wear certain clothes to please others, do certain activities and refrain from others, and we let other people dictate our happiness. The side picture is my home screen on my phone. "Comparison will kill you." I know that I spend more time than I should comparing myself to other people, putting how they picture me over how I picture myself. I made this my New Years resolution because I know that I am putting others people opinions of me over how I view myself, which is unhealthy. 

Focus on me: 

2019 for me will be about self-care. If you're like me, you tend to give 100% to everyone but yourself. You will expend yourself for the people around you. I am a known people pleaser. I think people tend to take advantage of that.  The quote "it is not your job to be everything to everyone," resonates deeply with me. So often I tend to give everything I have, all the knowledge, wisdom, time, energy, and strength, to keep others above water. I tend to leave myself out of the equation however, causing myself to be a ticking time bomb, ready to explode in a fit of tears when something doesn't go like I plan  Many times I forget to schedule "alone time" or "me time" and settle for a 5 minute drive in silence. In 2019 I plan on changing that. I will no longer expect to please everyone I am around while forgetting myself. I plan to make time to allow myself to breath and flourish, taking care of myself daily, not just when I crash or reach my breaking point. 

All of my resolutions have basically the same main goal, to focus on myself. I have spent years putting my mental, physical, and emotional state on the back burner in my life, this year I plan to change that. My hopes for 2019 are discovering myself and putting my needs first.